You’re always connected to your children no matter what. There is a cord that flows between you and them, just like the blood in the umbilical cord feeds a fetus, so your energy still feeds your kids. WHether they are still on earth or even if they have passed on.
If you feel like your connection to your children is strained at the moment, you have to take a bit of responsibility for this. As the parent you are the one who is responsible for the goodness that is being supplied to the cord blood. Children turn to their parents for love and support, just like a fetus uses the umbilical cord to get nourishment.
In the womb the child is not responsible for creating a nourishing environment. In fact, all they really do is send cellular waste back to the mother. And while your children might be all grown up now, it still isn’t their responsibility to make up for the love that might be lacking in your relationship at the moment. On the other hand, if you take responsibility and heal the relationship you have with them, they will flourish.
Children can be the most tiresome creatures on this earth. They can test you to your limits. They can push your boundaries like nobody else. But at the same time you have to remember that they didn’t ask to be your kid. You wanted a child. It was your choice to have them. And for the rest of your life - that child is your responsibility.
Not in the sense that you have to keep paying their bills for the rest of eternity. Of course they have to start taking responsibility for their own lives. But when it comes to your relationship, and the way the cord blood flows between you, it’s your responsibility to make sure that you’re giving your child everything they need to thrive.
That doesn’t mean telling them what they should or shouldn’t do with their lives. It doesn’t mean making sure they’re always safe in the big big world. It means being there for them in such a way that they feel safe. Even though the world gets tough and they lose their cool from time to time, they know they can count on you to be there to support them emotionally.
But a lot of parents fail to take this responsibility. They think that they can influence the way a child behaves and experiences the world through discipline alone. That their way of experiencing the world is the only way of experiencing the world. So they build a perfect little image of the perfect child and try to squeeze their very much imperfect child into it with brute force.
That puts all the emotional responsibility on the child. If the child doesn’t do as they’re told, they aren’t loved. Even if those things aren’t in their nature. And this is where the cord blood between parent and child becomes toxic. This is where generational curses start manifesting.
In order to truly heal the connection you have with your children you’re going to have to own up to a lot of your own mistakes. You don’t have to discuss those mistakes with your kids in detail. But you are going to have to confess to yourself that the way your kid turned out has everything to do with you.
You need to take responsibility for that before you can start mending the relationship. As the parent tht kid was your responsibility. And even though you may have tried your best at the time - you did mess certain things up. It isn’t your kid’s responsibility to fix those mistakes though. A lot of kids will end up fixing those mistakes for themselves - but until you can own up to your own mistake, you’re always going to look at the child as a failure, when in fact you were the one that failed them.
And that’s okay. Every single parent fails their child in one way or another. What matters now is that you can own up to it, forgive yourself, and sincerely apologize for messing things up. Make it about making them feel less responsible for your mistakes. Allow them time to process the apology. And watch how even the most strained relationship starts turning around.
The more loving acceptance you can send through to your child with cord blood, the more they will start trusting you and loving you in return.