Grace and Antionette have shown up to remind you that it’s best to approach difficult situations with compassion. If you have problems in relationships it’s usually due to some kind of miscommunication. And more often than not, if you give the other person some credit, the situation resolves itself quite quickly.
But giving people credit isn’t always the easiest thing to do. When we’re upset we tend to focus on the negatives, and this is true in relationships too. There are ways to be more compassionate and give people the credit they really deserve though.
Fair enough, when you’re angry you may think the person you’re angry with doesn’t deserve any credit. But once you take a step back and look at the situation as objectively as possible their credit score could change quite a bit.
That’s because when we’re angry we tend to paint the people that angered us in a bad light. We forget all the good they’ve done for us and just focus on all the times they’ve upset or hurt us.
But this tendency to give people a negative credit score hardly ever works in our favor in the long run. Even though you may feel justified in your negative scoring you’re actually making the situation worse by remaining focused on the negative.
Flip the Script
Yes, this person hurt you in a particular way. But have you taken the time to try and understand why they did what they did? Maybe they felt like they didn’t have a choice. Maybe this was the only thing they felt they could do. Or maybe things could have been a lot worse.
When we flip the script and try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective we automatically have to start giving them a little bit more credit. Especially when we start to understand why they acted the way they did.
Evaluate the Credit Score
While you’re busy looking at things from their perspective also keep in mind that the other person actually has quite a good credit score with you in general. You do like them - at the very least some of the time. So why are you allowing one negative experience to influence their overall score with you so much?
Going into overdraft with someone (where they just keep on upsetting you without adding much - if any - value to your life) is not a good idea though. At this point it could be wise to double check that you’re still in a positive balance with them overall.
Giving the Actual Credit
Now that you’ve taken the time to look at the situation from their perspective, evaluated the credit score, and decided where you stand with this person it’s time to give them the credit that they are truly due - just like Grace and Antionette encourage you to do.
If you decide that they have an overall positive influence on your life you are well on your way to mending bridges.
If you decide that they have and overall negative influence on your life it may be time to reevaluate the situation and come up with feasible ways that they can repay their debts to you by putting up new boundaries to protect your own wellbeing.
Of course the other person has the right to wave your boundaries. But make sure they know that this means you won;t want them in your life in the same way in the future.
Even if you love someone you can still decide to love them from a distance. Sometimes this is the healthiest way to deal with people that keep upsetting you. So as much as you should be compassionate and give people credit, don’t forget to give yourself some credit too.
But the one Angel you can always count on to have you covered is your very own Guardian Angel. So make sure to take your concerns about the future to the Angel that is closest to you. They know you better than anyone and will be able to show you how insured you already are.
The two of you have a tight bond that helps you communicate openly and honestly with yourself. This might be just what you need to unlock your full potential and embrace the unique gifts you were given.
